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spockandawe:

2x2verse:

what if i changed my url to pillowprincessmegatron

Cybertronians canonically have social media. How much do you want to bet Decepticons have fought over getting this k ind of username for their rp kink account? Are you going to rp with pill0wprincessmegatr0n or pillowprinc3ssm3gatron, because you can’t rp with both, they will DESTROY YOU. (pillowprincessmegatron is taken but has been inactive for thousands of years, and why won’t the site owners release urls from wartime casualties already???)

Alternately: everyone is too afraid to be pillowprincessmegatron because Tarn will move you RIGHT to the top of the DJD’s list, and when he hunts you down to murder you, you get treated to a long speech about how OBVIOUSLY megatron would be a STERN BUT ATTENTIVE LOVER, you should be ashamed of yourself for ever thinking these words, never mind SPEAKING THEM ALOUD (guess who is behind the obnoxious rpf shipping discourse blog megatronisnotapillowprincess). PS, if you headcanon megatron as a pillow princess, you are fetishizing the experiences of the working class mechs who have been denied a sense of agency by society, sorry sweatie i d on’t make the rules uwu

fandom secret: tarn owns the p1llowpr1ncessmegatron url and has to be very careful when he reblogs shipping discourse or nsfw rpf in case one post lands in the wrong place. it’s generally acknowledged that pill0wprincessmegatr0n and pillowprinc3ssm3gatron are both better at rp and tarn is super salty about it.

Headcanon Game - A to Z (NSFW)

kmclaude:

queenswatchcatt:

fairy-tail-babes:

Hey guys! I thought I’d so something fun this weekend, so I did my best to sexualize the alphabet and turn it into a headcanon game!

So here’s how it works. You send me a character (or a few), and the corresponding letters that you want me to answer for them!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I’ll have this running all weekend, so feel free to drop by!

Give me some.

Let’s have some Friday night character fun, eh?

what if i changed my url to pillowprincessmegatron

dirkhal D,H,K?

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

dirk’s: he had a Very Weird sexual awakening the first time he watched bladerunner. hal’s: he sometimes talks to dirk out loud while dirk’s sleeping and tells him filthy, nasty things right into his ear while he’s in REM sleep.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

hal doesn’t have any spare hair follicles: scalp and eyebrows, that’s it. his artificial hair fibres are so fine and white that they can actually refract light in direct sun. dirk’s pretty highly evolved; he doesn’t actually have too much body hair and he can get away with not shaving his face for a few days at a time. doesn’t match the drapes though, definitely a much darker blond than the white-blond of his scalp. trims downstairs.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

hal: overstimulating dirk until he fucking cries, alternating with sensory deprivation for dirk of the let’s-see-how-well-you-like-it variety. dirk: fuckin’ weird family shit, like a daddy kink but super messed up about it. like, you know that “strong male figure” tumblr post? like that, but both ways, both strong male figure in his life and strong male figure in his ass. tell him he’s good and he’s making you proud, give him hugs and tousle his hair, let him call you ‘daddy’ or ‘big bro’ and then fuck him as tenderly as you can bear. combine this with ‘big bro’ being hal in this scenario and you have some lovely I Can’t Believe It’s Not IncestTM

The only thing that fills my head is giant space robots, sorry bout that ;u; For Ratchet, K, M, N, D?

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

enthusiasm. he’s not gonna get super into it unless he can get his partner super into it. is enthusiasm even a kink? take a different one: forced orgasm. but in a nice way? like, to get his partner into it. m ake ‘em think he’s gonna keep ‘em on a plateau, then–nope. overload. haha, whoops. sorry not sorry. (he knows what he’s doing.)

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

again, enthusiasm, huge turn-on. also he likes people he can be more light-hearted around, he is not entirely grumpy and i want to see him party on, garth

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

medical stuff stays in the medbay. he refuses to cross the work and play streams. he’ll say all sorts of excuses why but he’s really just terrified of rewiring himself to think of pain and injury as erotic.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he was a sluttttttttttt in robot medical school

Annnnd self-restraint is for losers, how about also Knock Out: A, F, I, K, U? :D

you have no chill and i love you for it

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

motor purring, smug smile, completely indecent with his body language (he knows he looks pretty and he ain’t afraid to show off, ‘specially if he’s had his panels open in front of you). at this point a raised eyebrow will get his partner back in berth with him immediately if not sooner.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

doggy style with him on the bottom. (honestly it’s the only way i can imagine a plane fucking a car but at the same time my gay drag racecar robot is a total bottom and you can’t convince me otherwise.)

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

mm he’s fucking ruthless. he knows so much about the intricacies of robot anatomy and while every build is different, there’s so much the same that his knowledge translates really fucking well. he’s only going to get even slightly romantic about it if he’s actually conjunx’d to you, but if he is, he’ll fucking melt in your hands.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

s o u n d i n g

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

really depends. he certainly knows how, and does so very well when he puts his mind to it, but he’s usually more about multiple rounds/overloads and pushing his frame as far as it’ll go, his partner’s too, so. less teasing, more getting off as quick as possible. that said, he can be a bit of a sadist with just how well he can tease his partners. they have to know what they’re getting into before he’ll jump into it wholeheartedly.

Megatron: D, M, O, T?

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

pretty sure he would give his left nut (or the equivalent robot anatomy) to go back to the days of megatronus and orion pax. lord that’s all he wants. but now you make a few bad decisions and kill a few ‘bots in the name of your message and all of a sudden the guy who was supposed to help you lead your revolution is trying to stop you from strip mining entire planets to fund your rebellion. WHERE DID IT ALL GO SO WRONG

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

power and the assertion of it. if anyone stands up to him he has an instant instinct of U DID WOT M8 and wants to put ‘em in their place.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

receiving. (fuckin’ pillow princess megatron.) he’s also a complete goddamn hedonist when it comes to oral, too, you’d better bring a friend because he wants his valve and his spike done at the same time.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

if someone uses a thing on him, he not so subtly confiscates it and takes it for his own. he has hundreds of little sex tchotchkies by now. he doesn’t even care about them or use them on himself or anything. it’s kind of like an offering at the altar of a god, everyone knows they’re going to lose whatever it is but leaving megatron displeased is a thing you do not do at any cost, so.

Headcanon Game - A to Z (NSFW)

kmclaude:

queenswatchcatt:

fairy-tail-babes:

Hey guys! I thought I’d so something fun this weekend, so I did my best to sexualize the alphabet and turn it into a headcanon game!

So here’s how it works. You send me a character (or a few), and the corresponding letters that you want me to answer for them!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I’ll have this running all weekend, so feel free to drop by!

Give me some.

Let’s have some Friday night character fun, eh?

Dirk/Sollux sexcanons?

hm. i think i’m gonna A-Z this motherfucker. dii2a2terverse.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

sollux goes completely limp. like, cannot hold himself up, wrung out and in a puddle on the floor. dirk just wants some space to breathe but he is concernicus about sollux every fucking time so he has to get his own shit together to take care of the poor guy.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

sollux generally thinks he’s a pretty repulsive person, all things considered, but he likes his build, just in general. and he loves dirk’s eyes. for dirk, he thinks his hands are pretty neato, and he likes sollux’s hands as well. he is a handsy kind of dude.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

if op is disgusting then so am i :3c dirk is very much paranoid at first when it comes to Exchanging Body Fluids because no one has a flying fuck of the first idea of how xenopathology works, and it’s not exactly like trolls came back to earth A with comprehensive medical textbooks, so everybody’s just playing it by ear with the few trolls that made it back. dirk also gets somewhat freaked out by things he thinks of as unsanitary, and since fluids can get germ-y he is not about that life. once they figure out a way to keep fluid exchange to a minimum dirk’s more comfortable about parts-in-parts sex, that’s like six months in but it’s a while more than that (like at least a year after that) before they figure out they’re not even pathologically compatible. after that it’s a lot of dirk figuring out that sollux has a pleasant lemony aftertaste and sollux sucking dirk dry to get high off his hormonal profile, and also sollux is a Nast and likes it when dirk nuts in him.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

dirk already knows sollux’s: sollux doesn’t have a nook when that’s normal for trolls. sollux hates that about himself. dirk doesn’t really care one way or the other. dirk’s dirty little secret is that he might not be strictly black for sollux. if sollux knew, he wouldn’t really care one way or the other about that, either. sollux is a complete hedonist because, uh, he’s alive and not a battery-navigational system, so fuck yeah, he’ll take you in all his quadrants at once.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

sollux is a pro at getting himself off. when it comes to other people, he had some experience before getting with dirk, but it was solely with trolls and it always involved sollux giving, not receiving, because like hell he was letting anyone in his pants. zero experience with humans besides watching porn. dirk similarly didn’t have any xeno experience to speak of, but it’s not like he hadn’t dated someone before, and he’s definitely done the full sex and everything on that spectrum. also, xeno porn. sollux is built a little different, more like humans, and that makes dirk a little more comfortable.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

generally face to face, one of them pinning the other to something (a wall, a door, a mattress). whether one has his dick in the other or they’re just frotting cocks doesn’t matter so much, they just like wrasslin’. once they figure out pathology stuff, sollux on his knees with dirk’s dick in his mouth and psionic h ands all over him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

WILL THESE FUCKS EVER STOP MEMEING. i think they’re afraid to get too serious about it, firstly because if you take sex seriously you’re kind of a chump because something will always not go the way you expect it to, and secondly because haha real emotions what are those i’m never going to show him those.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

trolls don’t have body hair, just scalp and eyebrows. ironically, sollux has a unibrow if he doesn’t keep up with his tweezing. dirk’s body hair is blond, but not as white-blond as his scalp. he hates face scruff and occasionally even shaves his legs. at first to keep from freaking sollux out about the hair in weird places thing he shaved everything at his crotch but now that sollux is a little more chill about it he just shaves his bal ls and trims everything else. one of sollux’s favorite things is licking that weird stripe of hair on his way down to suck dirk off.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

they trust each other with a lot, but it’s slow going in exploring kinky stuff because come on this is a kismesis. you don’t want to let the other guy have too much all at once, then it’s no fun, you gotta fight a little for it. and also they’re 90% sure a kismessitude is not supposed to involve trusting the other person. nothing about their sex is romantic, at least not red. mostly it’s about having fun and getting off, and it’s at least a little black most of the time.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

sollux likes to edge himself because he fucking hates himself, but he doesn’t have the time to do that a lot. the first time he tried sexy psionics was on himself and it didn’ t work very well. his reaction was “i de2erved that.” he jerks off every couple of days. usually he’ll watch porn first and then let his imagination go crazy. dirk usually jerks off in the shower, because let’s be real he loves his ablutions, and he’s not shy about sneaking a few fingers in if that’ll get him off faster. he’s less imagination and more memory, if he’s even thinking that much in the first place.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

sollux is super into movement restriction, whether by someone holding him down or with actual bondage. dirk secretly wants sollux to rip him apart with his troll fangs. just fuck him up.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

usually someone’s dorm room, at first, which sucks because they’re in cool leg and sollux is rooming with karkat and dirk is rooming with dave and neither of them deserve walking in on that kind of sex. a lthough it was hot the one time they deliberately had sex on karkat’s bed. dirk gets a 1br apartment as a sophomore while sollux goes in on a house with karkat, john, and dave that he subsequently never sleeps at, coincidentally. these two are also Nast and will cyber during class. there was also that one time they had a quick fuck between classes and got banned from cetus south a-fucking-gain because they were way too fucking loud.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

pretty sure they just want to destroy each other sexually, which is great because they also want to be completely destroyed as well, so. usually they needle at each other until one of them snaps. what really gets sollux is stripping dirk and getting him naked, because he’s so much freer with his body language and facial expressions when he’s wearing nothing but skin, and also he’s fucking hot, okay. dirk loves the noises sollux makes when he’s turned o n and really into it.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

if sollux slides super-easy into subspace, dirk has to shut up, because sollux gets really sensitive to wording and potential humiliation; if he’s all floatylight, he does not want his inner monologue as an outer monologue from his partner. we’ve already thoroughly covered the germaphobe thing. for dirk, that includes bodily functions. just. do not. he’s fine with orgasm delay, but denial, well, fuck you. he’ll take care of that himself if you’re just going to jerk his chain and not jerk him off.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

both of them equally enjoy each side of it, no preference, but sollux is usually more thirsty for it. sollux certainly has a Tongue and he uses it to his advantage. trolls also have no gag reflex in their throats. dirk was already pretty good at giving head before getting with sollux but he had a hard time at first figuring out how succ the bulge, because it’s long and prehensile and a tentacle. turns out sollux is perfectly happy just having someone’s mouth there.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

sex was pretty fast when they were first hooking up and didn’t have any fucking time until someone’s roommate came back, but they ended up with a decent enough sense of timing when they weren’t rushing for it. they’re pretty rough with each other, emotionally if not physically, and they each use sensuality and going slow as a fucking weapon.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

again, a lot more quickies at first, because privacy issues, but they prefer to be pretty thorough with the way they wreck each other. and, i mean, how often do they nerd-snipe each other? that’s pretty much how often they need to take a break fr om their one-liners and just fuck already.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

they’re both new to each others’ species, which means a lot of cultural give and take through touching dicks. lots of experimentation going on here. however, dirk is the least risky person on the planet. this pisses sollux off to no end, even though he totally understands why.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

sollux never really lasts all that long, but trolls have essentially no refractory period, and if someone else is giving him orgasms, he’ll let himself keep going until he gets completely dehydrated rather than stopping like a sensible person once his bones turn to jello. dirk’s got pretty good stamina, but sollux has the uncanny ability to get him off fast. at least he has a few rounds in him, and by that point sollux is usually just a puddle of troll.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

sollux has like twelve. so many. sheath restrictors and synthetic bulges and vibrating shame sticks and nook pockets. he uses at least one every time he gets off on his own. dirk has maybe one and he never uses it because it’s never with him when he’s taking a shower. sollux introduces him to the joy of vibrators. it’s awesome. but he never gets one for himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

ALL THE MUCH. ALL OF IT. THAT’S THEIR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP. RIGHT THERE. how much of a kismessitude would it be if you just let your boyfriend have everything he wanted the second he wanted it? (that includes their own orgasms. they don’t want to necessarily give their partner the satisfaction of knowing they’re doing it devastatingly right.)

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

sollux is a vocal little bitch even if he’s not particularly coherent, and he’s loud as fuck. mostly he’s just moaning every time he lets out a breath with these desperate whining “ahn!” noises. when he’s trying to get dirk off he tries to keep his words together but he can’t control his volume. dirk never shuts up when he’s working on sollux, but at least he’s quiet about it. the best victory is when dirk takes those giant shuddering breaths with a little “oh” hidden somewhere in there.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

sollux was pleased as fucking punch the first time he fingered dirk because his cock started leaking like a troll bulge and he licked it all up because he a Nast. dirk will never admit how much he likes it when sollux’s bulge is wrapped all around his and the tip of it just starts teasing at the slit of his dick.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see wha t’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

sollux has no nook, obviously, but he has a perineum in place of it. his bulgeslit tends to split from the bottom up, meaning his bulge kind of folds out with the tip still in him while he’s getting thick. dirk’s got a good six inches, girthy and cut and with a nice thick ridge down the shaft.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

sollux is dtf whenever, but if he doesn’t get any in like five days he’ll get pretty cranky about it and push dirk up against the nearest solid surface to get him some. dirk’s got a higher intimacy drive than sex drive, if that makes sense–he just likes feeling bodies on his, he grew up alone and without much physical contact. so he’ll get frisky with sollux pretty much every other day, like kissing on him and grabbing his ass, and usually that goes someplace.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwa rds)

sollux doesn’t just fall asleep afterwards if it’s good, he fucking passes out. which is a chore because that means he’s dehydrated and he’s going to need some pretty serious care. usually though he just kind of dozes off while he’s still in a puddle of jizz. he gross. dirk’s always exhausted afterwards but in an exhilarated kind of way, so he’ll never sleep after sex.

Headcanon Game - A to Z (NSFW)

kmclaude:

queenswatchcatt:

fairy-tail-babes:

Hey guys! I thought I’d so something fun this weekend, so I did my best to sexualize the alphabet and turn it into a headcanon game!

So here’s how it works. You send me a character (or a few), and the corresponding letters that you want me to answer for them!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I’ll have this running all weekend, so feel free to drop by!

Give me some.

Let’s have some Friday night character fun, eh?

?